There’s a special kind of existential crisis that only former Talented and Gifted (TAG) kids know—the one where you find yourself, at 2 AM, staring at your ceiling, wondering:
"Was I truly gifted, or did I just have an unsettling ability to memorize the periodic table at age six?"
Or perhaps the darker, more unsettling realization:
"Was I actually exceptional, or was I just an anxious overachiever with hyperfixations and a mild inability to interact with my peers?"
If you’ve ever had anxiety attacks over small talk, accidentally given a TED Talk on your niche interest at a party, or found yourself unable to function without noise-canceling headphones and a fidget toy, congratulations! You may be suffering from Chronic Overthinker Syndrome (COS), an unrecognized side effect of childhood giftedness. Now, before you panic-Google whether this is an actual medical condition (it’s not).
The TAG Kid to "Am I Autistic?" Pipeline
Let’s be real: many of us have gone from gifted programs to neurodivergence deep-dives like it was an inevitable life trajectory. The overlap between giftedness and neurodivergence (ADHD, ASD Level 1) is so strong that even trained professionals struggle to tell them apart (McGrew, 2024).
In fact, misdiagnosis is rampant in twice-exceptional (2e) individuals—those who are both gifted and neurodivergent (Webb et al., 2004). That means a lot of us grew up believing we were just ‘quirky geniuses’ when, in reality, we were navigating an undiagnosed neurodevelopmental condition with sheer force of will and caffeine.
Let’s break it down:
Giftedness and neurodivergence often share overlapping traits, making it difficult to distinguish between the two. For example, both groups experience hyperfocus, but while a gifted child might memorize Lord of the Rings lore before puberty, a neurodivergent individual with ADHD or ASD might memorize Minecraft crafting recipes in one sitting. When it comes to social interactions, gifted individuals often feel like "they just don't get me," whereas those with ADHD or autism might feel "I just don't get them." Sensory sensitivities also manifest differently—gifted individuals may have strong fabric preferences for comfort, while those on the autism spectrum might experience full meltdowns over sock seams. Similarly, overanalyzing conversations is common; a gifted person might obsess over whether they were too enthusiastic, whereas an autistic or ADHD individual might ruminate over whether "see you later" was meant literally or figuratively. Even existential crises take unique forms—gifted individuals may ponder "What if time isn’t real?", while those on the spectrum may fixate on "What if eye contact is just a societal construct?" Finally, emotional depth is a shared trait, but while a gifted child may channel it into poetry about life’s fleeting beauty, a neurodivergent person may feel emotions just as intensely but struggle to express them outwardly. At this point, you might be wondering: Was I actually gifted, or was I navigating an undiagnosed neurodevelopmental difference?
Or was I just left to figure out neurodivergence without the support I actually needed?
The answer: Probably both.
Smart Is Just a Fancy Word for Social Distance
The thing nobody tells you about being “gifted” is that it doesn’t mean you’re automatically successful or well-adjusted—it just means you had to learn how to exist in a world that wasn’t designed for your brain.
As a gifted kid, you probably:
Finished your work early and spent the rest of class questioning the meaning of life.
Got along better with adults than kids your own age.
Had hyperfixations that made you an expert in things nobody else cared about.
Were constantly either the teacher’s favorite or their worst nightmare.
And now, as an adult?
Networking events feel like a horror movie.
You don’t know how to make small talk, but you can analyze human behavior like a CIA profiler.
You’re either incredibly successful or suffering from gifted burnout—and possibly both at once.
Studies show that highly intelligent individuals often struggle with social integration (Cross & Cross, 2015). They tend to report higher levels of loneliness, overthinking, and feeling "different" from their peers, even when they don’t meet clinical criteria for neurodivergence (Gross, 2002).
In other words: if intelligence is a gift, it came wrapped in social confusion and existential dread.
Gifted, Neurodivergent, or Just an Overthinker? The Diagnostic Limbo
If you’ve ever thought:
"Maybe I’m autistic but just really good at masking."
"Maybe I have ADHD, but I just learned to overcompensate."
"Or maybe I was just a weird little kid, and I need to let it go."
You’re not alone. The biopsychosocial model of assessment suggests that we need to look at the whole person—not just isolated behaviors (Engel, 1977). Being "gifted" or "quirky" isn’t a diagnosis, but it can intersect with neurodivergence in ways that require a nuanced approach (Silverman, 2012).
Not all clinicians are qualified to assess for both giftedness and neurodevelopmental conditions (Webb et al., 2004). And honestly? Some just lack the social skills to even explain the difference properly.
Final Thoughts: Just Be Your Weird, Brilliant Self
At some point, every former gifted kid has to accept:
You may never figure out if you're neurodivergent or just extremely introspective.
Your brain is wired for deep thought, and that’s not a bad thing.
Social norms were never made for people who think like you—so make your own.
Instead of trying to self-diagnose your quirks into oblivion, embrace them as part of what makes you a fascinating human being.
And if someone asks why you’re analyzing psychopathology and social conditioning at a party instead of engaging in small talk, just smile and say:
"I was a gifted kid."
They’ll either get it or they won’t. Either way, you’ll reflect on the conversation for hours.
References
Assouline, S., Foley-Nicpon, M. and Huber, D. (2006) The Impact of Vulnerabilities and Strengths on the Academic Experiences of Twice-Exceptional Students: A Message to School Counselors. BioMedSearch, 10. https://doi.org/10.5330/prsc.10.1.y0677616t5j15511
Cross, T.L. (2018). On the social and emotional lives of gifted children (5th ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003236900
Engel, G. L. (1977). The need for a new medical model: A challenge for biomedicine. Science, 196(4286), 129-136. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.847460
Gross, M. U. M. (2002). Social and emotional issues for exceptionally intellectually gifted students. In M. Neihart, S. M. Reis, N. M. Robinson, & S. M. Moon (Eds.), The social and emotional development of gifted children: What do we know? (pp. 19–29). Prufrock Press Inc..
Silverman, L. K. (2012). Giftedness 101. Springer Publishing Company.
Webb, J. T., Amend, E. R., Webb, N. E., Goerss, J., Beljan, P., & Olenchak, F. R. (2004). Misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses of gifted children and adults: ADHD, bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, depression, and other disorders.Great Potential Press.
Share with a former gifted kid who is definitely reading this at 3 AM instead of sleeping. 🧠💡
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