Ari McGrew

Jan 282 min

Starved Palette Play

Updated: Mar 2

To "starve someone of attention" means to deliberately withhold attention, acknowledgment, or recognition from that person. It's a metaphorical use of the word "starve," which literally means to suffer or die from hunger.

In a psychological context, it indicates neglecting someone's emotional needs for interaction and connection.

This can be a form of emotional manipulation or punishment, where the person being starved of attention might feel ignored, undervalued, or invalidated. This can lead to various negative emotional states such as feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, or desperation for any kind of social interaction. In relationships, whether personal, familial, or professional, using attention as a commodity to be granted or withheld can significantly impact an individual's mental and emotional well-being. But consider how not to be starved for attention. Yes! You can change the narrative in the same places you created

The idiom "starving for attention" carries with it a visceral portrayal of the human psyche's profound need for recognition and validation. The metaphor of 'starvation' suggests a desperate and essential craving, akin to our biological hunger for sustenance. Yet, this hunger does not yearn for food, but for the nourishing gaze of acknowledgment from others.

To be 'starving' for attention is not merely a surface-level desire for the spotlight; it is a deep-rooted psychological plea for existence and significance. In the same way that our bodies signal the critical need for nutrients through the pangs of hunger, our minds signal the need for emotional and social nutrients through a longing for attention.

The term echoes the theories of psychologists like Alfred Adler, who suggested that striving for significance is an intrinsic aspect of human nature.

This hunger can drive ambition and achievement but can also lead to a voracious appetite that is never fully satiated, leaving an individual in a perpetual state of seeking.

Moreover, the phrase encapsulates the idea that, just as a lack of food can lead to physical atrophy, a lack of attention can lead to psychological atrophy. Human beings are social creatures, and attention is a currency in our social economies that affirms our value in the eyes of others.

In a society increasingly mediated by digital interfaces, where 'likes' and 'shares' have become the equivalent of a societal nod, the phrase "starving for attention" takes on new layers. It becomes a commentary on the modern condition, where the hunger for a double-tap on a screen can be as compelling as the need for a warm meal.

This simple yet profound statement opens a window into the intricate dance between self-worth and societal validation, reminding us that while we all hunger for attention, the quality of that attention can be as varied as the food that sustains us.

It is not attention alone that we crave but meaningful connection, genuine recognition, and a sense of belonging that truly satiates the soul's hunger. Consider completing a personal analysis of the cost/benefits of relationships that my help you remain balanced.


Ari McGrew, chief creative officer and founder of Tactful Disruption®️, is an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University where she teaches psychotherapies and counseling theories. She's also an official member of the Forbes Coaches Council, ForbesBLK, and a PESI global partner.

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